Stressing about NOT being able to go to The Gym!

Never thought I'd hear myself say that!  I will not be able to go to the gym this Saturday...it will be the only day this month that I won't go to the gym.  I've been stressing about it all week!  The gym has become my habit, or perhaps my obsession.  I wake up thinking about what workout/machines I will do that night at the gym and I think about it all day until it's time to go to the gym...What the Hey!  When did this happen?

Now, I have no idea how I will handle things once my commitment is up.  Will I keep going, will my habit "stick", or will I just be glad it's over and say I did my time and move on?...I don't know either :(.

What I do know is that we are taking our annual camp/float trip this weekend and my plan is to NOT think about the gym until I get back on Sunday.  I'm gonna try anyway.  My plan is to workout early on Friday then late on Sunday, so Saturday is the only day I don't go to the gym. 

It sounds like a good plan and I am very excited about a weekend away...so why am I stressing about it!?!  I have gone from not being able to commit to any exercise program to now obsessing over one!  I am even thinking about joining a SECOND gym.....................What have I done to myself??? :-)

Quitting is not an Option...Right??

15 days straight and I gained a pound!  Oh yea, I was really ready to quit...what the heck!?!  Talk about mad!  I start to tell everyone I know what a joke this whole thing is...I mean, really??, I go to the gym, kill myself for an hour...everyday for 15 days, and I gain weight!  This is just wrong! 

I left my WW meeting on Tuesday thinking that I was going to go home that night, eat a big dinner (of whatever I wanted!), relax and not even think about going to the gym!  I have been so behind on all my evening tv watching, and forcing myself to go to the gym...even if it's 10 p.m.!  I was almost relieved to think that I could just stop stressing and not even bother anymore.  I could just go back to going to the gym once a week...maybe, if I had time and nothing to watch on tv.  After all, if the results were the same as before I started this gym thing, then why bother...right?

Of course, by the time I got home, I realized that I really wasn't being honest and that what I was really doing was looking for yet another excuse to QUIT!  I went to the gym that night...

While I was being honest, I went ahead and admitted that I have NOT been very good at counting points and keeping up with what I have been eating...ok, ok, I fell into that "well, I'm working out like a mad women so surely I can eat whatever I want" thing.  Didn't even realize I was doing it!  Wow, the mind can be very tricky...lol.

I felt much better after my workout that night, and after talking it all out with Debbie!  I decided that that would be the end of my pity party...and that this commitment is only worth the effort if I am making all the necessary changes in my lifestyle...working out is not enough :(.

To answer my own question...Quitting is NOT an option! 

Day 10...Could it be Getting Easier!

So, I pushed through the weekend...yay!  My wedding anniversary celebration seemed to last all 3 days :).  While that was very nice, making it to the gym Friday through Sunday was soooo hard.  I'll admit it, I was not in a very good mood when I left the house on those 3 days :(.  However, every time, about 2 minutes into it, I was so glad I had made it to the gym! 

After the weekend, I had a candid conversation with myself.  I said "self, you really need to quit punishing everyone around you with your bad moods when it's time to go to the gym!".  I agreed with myself and decided to start fresh on Monday...with a better attitude.

My workouts have gotten easier/better by the day.  Am I starting to get used to going to the gym?!  Wait, who said that!?! ;-)

I also made the decision to cut my Weight Watcher meetings back to every other week, instead of every week.  Seeing that number every week has become a real stressor for me.  I have decided not to concentrate so much on that number.  I do need the meetings, so I'm not gonna stop going completely.  After all, I did say (back in February) I would do WW's for at least one year.  I had completely forgotten about saying that...probably because I have made that 'commitment' to WW's twice before and not kept it!  But, I have been going all this time, and I feel pretty committed to seeing this one through.  Yay, I'm still going to meetings 6 months later!

I actually caught myself trying to think of what my next 'committment' would be when my 30 days are up at the gym.  I know, I know...one commitment at a time, right??  Or two?  Who knows, maybe I will get used to committing and end up keeping a few commitments at once!  Who knows.............

Motivation...Is A Great Thing

I made it to day 5! Normally I struggle to get in the gym once or twice a week...so, I'm feeling pretty good about this week.  I had to talk myself into it every night and, most nights, Debbie counting on me was the only reason I went, but looking back, it wasn't so bad.  Maybe there is truth to the whole 'everything becomes a habit after doing it every day for a few weeks'.  That's what I'm going to chose to believe...this week :).

Oh yea, the motivation...I definitely had some of that today!  When I started this blog I promised my husband that I would keep him out of it...so, I will only say that when I am 'upset' with him (for something that was totally HIS fault), my work out is definitely more intense.  I will be sore tomorrow for sure.  Alright, I was pretty pissed!

Lucky for him, I worked it all out and I feel so much better...physically and mentally.  I'm not even mad anymore :).  Which is a good thing because tomorrow is a very big day for him and me...

The weekend will be the hardest for me.  I am kinda worried about it already :(.  I do plan to find a different kind of motivation tomorrow...no fights tomorrow, it's a big day :).

I need to clean the cabinets tonight and make sure there are no potato chips in sight............

What was I thinking?!?

3 down and 28 more to go.  It sounded like a great idea...'hey, we should commit to going to the gym every day for the whole month of August and just see what happens'.  That was 3 days ago.  Not wanting to disappoint my friend/new workout buddy, my answer...'Ooookay'. 

You should know that my weight has been a big struggle in my life for at least 20 years.  I am a yo-yo for sure.  I have had some good success (and some not so good success) through the years.  I have never starved myself and I have always tried to ere on the 'healthy' side of trying to loose weight...but, I will admit to a few fads.  My goal, to loose 60 lbs.

So, the question here is not was this a great idea?  That answer is simple: enough is enough!  I need to loose this weight, I pay for a gym membership that I hardly use, my gym is less than 2 miles from my house and most times my friend picks me up (I don't even have to drive there!), and finally...after 20 years, I know what works and what doesn't work (for me).  And I know that my best weight loss has been when exercise is involved. 

OK, so then, what is the problem???

My commitment level sucks!  I can't ever stick to it for very long.  I start out great!  After a while (even when I am seeing results), for whatever reason, I completely sabotage myself! 

In an attempt to "work" on this, I have decided to try to concentrate on my "Commitment to Commit"!

3 days down, 28 to go...