This may have to become my new motto. In collecting my thoughts for today's blog...you know, because I said I would be blogging on Mondays and Fridays, and I am trying to stick to that commitment...I have come to the conclusion that if I am going to really do this, then it will have to be all or nothing. And since I don't think anyone is really reading my blogs, then why not!
I am a survivor of childhood sexual abuse. I really hate when people struggling with their weight use this as an excuse! I don't in any way intend to go that route. It is what it is and I have totally dealt with this and put it in it's place a long time ago. However, because it is a part of who I am, I figured this is probably a good place to start. It wasn't until a few years ago that I even began to associate the fact that I was abused as a child, with the fact that I can only loose a certain amount of weight and then I sabotage myself until I gain it all back and then some. The struggle is so much more in my own head!
This is true with so many areas of my life. I can only commit to a certain extent. I can only let people know certain parts of me...nobody will ever know the whole truth and nothing but the truth me. Why? In the beginning I used to think it was so amazing that I had linked these two things together and now for sure I would be able to stop doing this to myself...I was so excited to finally have a reason that I had been in this vicious cycle of losing/gaining and I could finally just lose it and be done with it, right...WRONG!
I know that my childhood has everything to do with everything. I know that I am who I am because of everything I've been through...as a child and, subsequently, as an adult. The link is there, I found it, YAY! me.............NOW WHAT :-(.
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